Bible miniseries recut into three hour Jesusfest )

I could have done a better mini series with Barbie dolls.
One thing that really bugs me is that I can't even grab good footage off this thing, it was so poorly shot and had such uneven production values and people not nearly pretty enough.

The Clive Owen “King Arthur” is not, imo, a very good movie in terms of plot or research (rant for another time) but it's certainly beautifully shot. So at one point, I wanted to vid it just because of the gorgeous footage. I wish that The Bible miniseries was the same, that it had given me hours of fantastic footage despite the terrible pacing and storytelling. But they couldn't even get that right, so once I'm done complaining about it, I'll have no further use for the thing.

But I WILL be making a vid containing footage from all the other Bible movies that somehow managed to remember women exist and do things in those stories. Which is most of them, which says a lot about how badly this one fell down on that subject.


If it was good, usable footage, I could still cut together all the very most horrifying scenes and set them to “Angels” by Within Temptation. Could I make that work?

Song Choices for the Girl Power vid

If I Were a Boy (Beyonce, although I originally intended to do a Narnia vid to this and at one point, had one nearly finished... here's a very rough version).
Candles in the Rain
Girl on Fire (the version without the utterly nonsensical rapping)
Better (by Plumb, I've already used this for SPN though)
Fully Alive (Flyleaf, if I was in the mood to do something *angry*)

Maybe something else, it depends on the tone I want to go for and the amount of footage I can acquire. This could take awhile.
Look, it's impossible to attempt to personify the Devil without either sinking into parody (horns, red skin, pitchfork,etc) or implying that you think the type of person you're using to personify the Devil really is evil. They should have done what Buffy did. In the Buffyverse, the original personification of all evil , The First, has no physical form. It copies the image of whatever deceased person its victim most wants to see. This allowed the show to avoid unfortunate implications by constantly changing up the gender, age, race, and sexual orientation of The First. Supernatural has also set their version of Lucifer up with the same ability ( he has to actually possess a living human being though) , the form he currently appears in was meant to be temporary. They kept it because they wanted to keep using Mark Pelligrino, but they made a point of telling us that he could look like anyone he wants.

So, the producers of this miniseries could've had Satan played by a variety of different actors of different genders, races, and ages while tying them all together with some sort of color or symbol or shared mannerisms/costume or snatch of music.

But they didn't do that. Because they weren't thinking. Well, I'm hoping they weren't thinking. People have also floated the theory that the whole thing was a deliberately right wing effort. It's difficult to tell whether they're being purposely horrible or they're just not thinking, since it's the same result either way.

And I'm thinking, maybe this miniseries was not really for “people who read the book” like I said on Facebook. It was for people who only think they know the book, by people who only think they know the book. Perhaps with a lot of network meddling thrown in to fit the History Channel Brand.


Fridge Brilliance of Kings pt2
Fridge Brilliance of Kings pt3
Kings Stuff That Wasn't So Great
Kings fanvid to Need You Now(How Many Times)
Rule 63 Kings fic (long, not yet finished, comes with warnings)
My last entry never crossposted.

Attempting to Watch The Bible pt 3
what happens when you try to find an angel in the Alps

Identifying Main Characters )


I want to make a fan vid response, featuring clips of every woman in The Bible who has been interpreted on film. I don't know how I'll get all the footage (I don't know where or how to ask for people to send me copies of footage or anything, downloading doesn't work for me anymore and I don't have Netflix right now). But I do have a couple songs picked out and it's a project I've wanted to do for a long time, way before this miniseries aired.
I'm actually going back to the Noah, Abraham and Moses stories, just because I'm doing this in the order I watched the episodes.

what happens when you try to find an angel in the Alps )
The fight scenes. OhMG, so many of them are so bad. If the casting director should be fired (see below) the fight choreographer should be banned for life from working in Hollywood.

SO.Laughably. BAD )
A fundamentalist penned list of reasons why the King James Version of the Bible is the best choice has been making the rounds of religious blogs- here are two discussions.

Stuff Fundies Like

Exploring Your Matrix

What the King James Version is and is Not )

Kings screencaps with alternative captions. With famous out of context quotes from other tv shows. Some of these, you have to know the show to get. Some you have to also know the other show being quoted but a few work on their own. I know it's a niche market but it's not really for people who would 't care.
The History Channel has been trying to rebrand itself as a home for working class but intellectually curious (and probably white) male viewers. Everything they do must be fitted to this audience. Simplistic narratives that focus a lot on weapons, military tactics and explosions, which are cool but it means the network tends to ignore soft and subtle things, and women's stories, and men who don't come across as tough enough. If the History Channel was a cooking channel, they'd be Emeril and Guy Fieri 24/7.

Moses-Miriam, David-Yael, Esther-Daniel, Mary Magdalene-Peter )
I wanted to do a forward to this explaining exactly why this is the way it is, but I think the links will do that job for now. I can write some more on this after Nano is over.

Conservative Evangelical Christians and Halloween )
Well, all of my files disappeared, and while I managed to recover most of them, I lost a couple that contained stuff I was working on for this blog. So, we're taking a brain vacation this week. Like at an evangelical church when the pastor takes Sunday night off and everyone just sits around singing and playing music.

A playlist )

Or check out this Fake Narnia Soundtrack. Which is a lot shorter,more heavily curated, and not all Christian music.
With the way my life is going, it looks like these posts will usually show up about midweek. I'm just getting a lucky break today.

Response to Other Churches
The heart of evangelicalism is )
Warning: contains many photos.

It’s time to talk about the elephant in the room of religious media coverage. That elephant’s name is Thinking Conservative Evangelicals and Fundamentalists are the Same Thing. I have seen the terms repeatedly used as if they’re interchangeable, and they’re not. And that's kind of important.

Granted, I understand the confusion because lately it seems as if conservative Christians across the board are uniting against a perceived common enemy regardless of their own doctrinal quibbles. Conservative Christians right now in America would rather vote for Mitt Romney, who belongs to a religion they consider a cult and openly make vicious fun of, because he has conservative values, than vote for Obama, who belongs to the United Church of Christ, who don’t actually believe anything weird at all. Because he believes he represents all Americans, not just certain specific types of rich white Christian and is himself, black is a “liberal”.
so... )

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